Mom Vertical

What is parenting beyond punishment?

Parenting beyond punishment is a whole-child, collaborative approach to raising children and nurturing relationships. It encourages parents to see their children BEYOND their behaviors so that they can respond in  non-punitive, neurodevelopmentally appropriate ways aligned with each child's unique cognitive, developmental, emotional, social and sensory needs.

Parenting beyond punishment is about building a strong parent-child relationship based on mutual love, trust, and respect. Parents guide children by modeling empathy and focusing on cooperative solutions that meet everyone’s needs. Rather than trying to control children's behavior with bribes, yelling, and punishments, families choose to

  • guide versus control
  • listen versus assume
  • connect versus punish
  • encourage versus demand
  • respond versus react

Why choose to parent beyond punishment?

Children who they are when raised in homes where adults choose trustworthy relationships over punishment feel love and accepted for who they are, which supports the development of resilience. Likewise, adults benefit from the natural healing that occurs from their own early experiences of hurt, and grow in compassion and resilience themselves. Non-punitive parenting focuses on building relationships and guiding children with a view toward long-term parenting goals that nurture children's...

  • Compassion
  • Critical thinking
  • Emotionally regulation
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Conflict resolution skills
  • Resiliency
  • Respect of self and others
  • Responsibility

How does parenting beyond punishment work?
As a non-punitive parent, the focus is on helping your children discover solutions to problems, rather than punishing them for problems that arise. Children have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, rather than being punished for their mistakes and wondering what they were supposed to do instead.


Who benefits from parenting beyond punishment?
Non-punitive parenting principles benefit people of all ages and relationships. Interacting with others in respectful, accepting and cooperative ways leads to finding solutions that work for everyone, including spouses, family, friends, neighbors, educators, and colleagues!